The first time I heard the phrase 'Mind Monkeys' I had no idea what it meant but was soon informed the phrase refers to the annoying voices in our heads that stop us from being our best selves. In other words, the horrible jibber-jabbering of a tribe of monkeys in your brain telling you it is a bad idea to do something/you're not good enough/asking who you think you are to even try your hand at something.
Sound familiar? Do you recognise any or all of these little pests?
I certainly do, and right now I am suffering with a severe case of mind monkeys - every now and then I become consumed with self-doubt and a deep sense of inadequacy with regards to my writing. I have been in the industry long enough to know this state of mind is far from uncommon amongst my peers, but even that wisdom does little to console a writer when they are in the deep, dark depths of self-flagellation.
The reason I am doubting myself is two-fold 1) I am currently out of contract (although there is every chance that is about to change) and 2) I am writing something that is way out of my comfort zone. In fact, it is a huge leap of faith that I am continually wondering why I thought myself capable of writing such a novel in the first place!
So... what am I going to do about those monkeys I hear you ask.
Well, I will do what I've always done - block my ears and carry on regardless! Yes, I will continue to have bouts of tears, drive my husband to distraction with my constant talk and whining about the work in progress and quite possibly consume more than the usual amount of white wine. Yet, I will be victorious. I hope...I think...possibly.
The lesson here is to keep pushing forward no matter what, or maybe I am sharing this so that you realise no-one is alone in struggling with self-doubt. Either way, thanks for listening. My readers are the best!
Rachel x
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